The New Xbox Crocs Are A Thing That I Need On My Feet

Every few months the universe delivers something so deeply unnecessary yet so spiritually correct that I have no choice but to salute it. Today that glorious gift is Xbox Crocs. Yes, Crocs. The foam clogs we all pretend to hate while secretly Googling "are Crocs socially acceptable yet." And now they look like Xbox controllers. Real buttons. Real joysticks. On your feet. 

Reader, I cannot explain why this works for me, but it does.

First of all, Crocs have always been ugly in a charming way, like a golden retriever who rolled in mud but is still somehow adorable. Slap an Xbox logo on them, add the green accents, mold in the A B X Y buttons, and suddenly I'm eight years old again wishing my shoes could double as a video game peripheral. These things are ridiculous, which is exactly why they are incredible.

The collaboration comes with extras too. Starting today, you can grab them from the Crocs website along with a pack of Xbox + Jibbitz charms featuring characters from Halo, Fallout, DOOM, World of Warcraft, and Sea of Thieves. Yes, you can basically decorate your Crocs like a gamer Christmas tree.

Inside the shoes, the footbeds literally say Player Left and Player Right, which means your feet now have designated roles. This might be the most committed branding move I have ever seen. Couch co op? Covered. Walking to the kitchen for snacks between matches? Also covered.

Look, I don't know where fashion is going anymore, but if the future is just comfortable shoes shaped like gaming hardware, I'm fine with it. These Crocs are silly, they are bold, they are perfect for the holidays, and honestly, I want them.